Walk a Little Closer

Some books surprise you, they jump into your heart, make a home and start to become a part of you.  I was surprised by the roots Amy Carmichael by Sam Wellman grew in my heart.  It wasn't the beauty of the writing or the well-crafted story, it was the subject.  The beauty of this woman's life took the most labored of writing and brought it to life.  Ms. Carmichael is most commonly known for her missions work in India.  Hers is a story that I have known well and have known since I was a child.  I have read some of her writing and I have read a different biography on her to my children.  But at this moment in my life, her story rang clear and loud.  I related with her desires and her struggles in a way I hadn't before.  Her story not only spoke to me but my children didn't want it to end.  After I had breathed the last word and we sat in the silence,  my 11 year-old boy broke the silence with, "I don't want it to end."  This is a common sentiment for him, but we just spent a month reading about a single woman, who gave her life for Jesus. Yes, there was adventure, but still not the story I expected my kids to connect so deeply with.  We were all surprised.

Amy Carmichael's story is compelling for several reasons.  She gave her life to care for orphans and disenfranchised.  She was a rescuer.  She was fearless.  She knew her limits.  She knew her convictions. She knew how to pull away and sit at the feet of Jesus.  She knew how to work hard and get it done. She was fueled by prayer.  She allowed her heart to be broken for the lost, the hurting, and the wounded.  She loved deeply.  She wrote beautifully.  She mentored me and taught me through her life.

Her thoughts on prayer:
     1. We don't need to explain to our Father things that are known to Him.
     2. We don't need to press Him, as if we had to deal with an unwilling God.
     3. We don't need to suggest to Him what to do for He Himself knows what to do.

Inspired by The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis, Amy Carmichael gathered seven of her India sisters in Christ called "Sisters of the Common Life".  These women encouraged each other in their walk and read the Bible and Christian classics.  They created a creed that they used to remind each other of their mission.  I have come back to this over and over since we finished the book.

My Vow:  Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by They grace I will do it. 
My Constraint: Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.
My Confidence: Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.
My Joy: To do Thy will, O God.
My Discipline: That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints.
My Prayer: Conform my will to thine.
My Motto: Love to live; live to love.
My Portion: The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.

I leave this woman longing to walk a little closer to my God, longing to breathe his grace a little deeper and to love and rescue His little ones with more ardor.

An Experiment.... Science Friday

I am an avid reader, but I have a problem.  I don't venture out very far in my reading.  I like literary novels, classics, spiritual books that feed my soul, I love juvenile lit, and I love books on psychology, nutrition and environmentalism.  I have been trying to challenge myself to read outside of my norm.  Shortly, after challenging myself I was listening to to NPR's Science Friday (which I love) and realized that they have a book club.  I had to get in on it.  Thus, I have read the two book club reads of 2013.  The first was Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton and the second was Gorillas in the Mist by Dian Fossey.

Andromeda Strain is not something I would generally pick up and read.  When I was in college, I really enjoyed science fiction, but since then I haven't read much in the way of science fiction.  I really enjoyed reading this book, it wasn't my favorite, but I enjoyed it.  I may of mostly relished in the fact that I was holding this book than the story.  There were moments when I was totally engaged in the story, but then it ends.  Its one of those stories that doesn't glide into the ending or let you down gently, nope, it just ends.  I left it a little bit unsatisfied, but it was fun to read a science fiction book that imagined a future in which we now live.

Gorillas in the Mist  was definitely my favorite of the two, but that might have something to do with the fact that it was closer to a book I would normally choose to read.  It is part autobiography and part textbook on gorillas.  I happened to be reading it at the same time as we were reading The One and Only Ivan as a family.  I started to fall in love with these giant animals found in the mountains of Africa.  I loved the parts of this book where she tells how she started this journey and how she studied the gorillas.  I had a harder time with the parts of the book where she was personalizing the gorillas.  That got to be a little weird to me.  But I tend to not personalize animals, others of you might love this part of it.  I had to remind myself that when she was talking about them and using names that those were names that she had given them.  I started to think about them as humans and they aren't.  It makes me wonder at her research, can one objectively research something if they are that personally involved.

Needless to say, my mind has been opened and stretched.  I have learned things I never would have thought I would have learned.  Can't wait to see what they choose for the next selections!

Much to "Wonder" about

One thing that is true about most middle schoolers is that at some point they are awkward.  There are those rare kids that are never awkward, that enter into middle school cute and leave beautiful.  But even those pass through a time of awkwardness... maybe not on the outside but most definitely on the inside.  There is some literature that is written for this age group seems to express this transition so well and when you read a book that touches your heart like this one, you want to tell the world.  We just finished a book that touched our hearts, Wonder by R.J. Palacio. My kids would say, you should read this book.  At the end of the book, Benji said, "I wish good books went on and on and never stopped."  I agree, it was hard to tell these characters goodbye, I even shed a tear or two or three.  I think its books like this that teach us compassion, empathy and beg us, as adults, to give our kids a vision, to share with them the hope for a future.

I really want to tell you everything about this book, but I can't, because you have to experience it for yourself.  You must jump in and laugh and cry and remember what it was to be in fifth grade, what it was to attempt the impossible task of trying to fit in.  But most of all you must meet Auggie, this young man that you will cheer for from beginning to end.  You will want to acquaint yourself to his mom and understand her hopes and dreams, her fears and worries.  You will love his friends and hate his friends and realize that at times the friendship you offer people has strings attached, your love is sometimes conditional.  I couldn't help asking myself, can a book like this help us to love others better, to understand their deepest needs and meet them better.  I don't know, but its worth a shot.

I must give a shout out to Ms. Palacio, way to hit it out of the park on your first book.  Thanks, for engaging our hearts and giving us much to talk about in our everyday life.  

The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

This is a coffee sipping, slow reading book.  This book begs you to sit down and take it slow, to hear her story and ponder your own.  Her words left me inspired and moved.  Being a mother isn't always easy and this mother says it with such grace.  She explores those areas of her heart that aren't ready to let go and brings the reader.  As I read it, I found myself exploring those areas in my heart.  Kenison is full of thoughtful insight and she writes with a deep beauty.  I left this book ready to love more deeply, not just my family but those around me my friends and neighbors,  The cast of characters that make up my life.  I was reminded to be thankful for the ordinary moments that so fleetingly disappear.  I am often conflicted between my role at home and my desire to change the world, the whole world, but Kenison reminded me over and over that it is in embracing my role in my home that I am changing the world. 

Changing The Way We View The World

The Mayflower and The Pilgrims' New World by Nathaniel Philbrick

Education for us is all about reading. We read a lot together and on our own. During our "school time" we always have something that we are reading aloud, usually mid-morning. I read, they eat second breakfast. We have read funny fiction and we have read some serious non-fiction. We recently finished one of our serious non-fiction selections. We have been reading this since the beginning of the year, at the beginning of the year we could only read a few pages before they were begging to move on to funny fiction, but the more we talked about the book, the more we noticed that we had constructed in our minds a false account of these colonists, as well as their Native American friends and foes. Something happened about a month ago... the story clicked and they wanted to know more and more and more. I wasn't starting the discussion, they were. They were interrupting me to make observations and ask questions. I would stop reading and they would beg for more and more. It wasn't uncommon for us to read this book for an hour at a time. The kids would have their sketchpads or play-dough to keep their hands busy and we would get to work at uncovering the story.

This book is at times not the easiest read aloud, I would find myself tongue tied. Some books read aloud smoothly and others require some time and work to uncover the rhythm. But we were okay with the shaky rhythm because we were in love with the adventure and story. We realized that even though we had already discussed in history a couple of times that Europeans had already visited North America, we still believed that these Europeans arriving on the east coast speaking English was a shock to the Native Americans. But the story Philbrick presents is one in which the Native Americans see these strangers and are concerned and frightened because they believe these white men have come to take vengeance for the deaths of some white men they just killed. We meet Native Americans that peak English, just like in Charlie Brown and watch alliances created and destroyed. We learned about King Phillips War and the many mistakes made by both the colonists and the Native Americans.

After reading this I was even more convinced in the necessity of reading non-fiction aloud with my kids. Its easy to make time and read Henry Huggins, but making time to dive into a book like this takes a little bit more resolve. I'm already creating a list of non-ficiton to work our way through that coincides with history, probably too long, but..... the more to choose from, my dear.

Silverback

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate

We LOVED this book. We could have read it in one sitting and then started over and read it all over again. Though we would have had to take a break and dry our eyes and blow our noses. It was one of those books that transcended age and gender and interests. It is the story of friendship and ingenuity. It is the story fighting for what we believe to be right in spite of the consequences.

I loved Ivan's voice, it didn't take long for me to feel as if I were sitting with Ivan, the gorilla, having a conversation, learning to see the world through his eyes. Its books like this that make me wonder. Its books like this that make me ask questions of myself and of my kids. Am I willing to go out on a limb for the good of a friend regardless of the consequences for me? Do I see injustice and fight or do I let somebody else take care of it? Great conversation starters. After it was over and I had choked out the last chapter, the kids asked if there was another book, they couldn't believe it was over, that this where the story would end. I believe any good book creates a hunger in us to read more, discover more, uncover more about ourselves and the rest of humanity.

At War

Raising Elijah: Protecting Our Children in an Age of Environmental Crisis 

by Sandra Steingraber

This book wasn't a quick read for me (which was what I thought I was getting myself into).  It took some thought, actually a lot of thought and caught me by surprise.  I'm a closet environmentalist, I have a lot of opinions, but I'm also not generally eager to share my opinions.  They are not always popular (might have something to do with my state of residence) and tend to make me look crazy.  Okay, so although on every personality test I take I want to answer...."I don't care what people think", deep down I do.  Deep down I get all tied up in knots when confrontation arises, deep down  I want people to think I'm smart, deep down I want people to think I am sane.  And at the same time, I am the kind of person that has a strong sense of values, a strong sense of wanting to fight for what I believe in.  My insides are at war.... should I tell people that I think plastics are killing our kids and may correlated to some really destructive behavior.... should I tell people that fish are dying and I think it might be our fault.  And then I read a book like this and I want to go to war... I want to fight for our planet... this ball floating in the space that God so graciously gave us and asked us to take care of.  I know all the arguments for why Christians believe that environmentalists are crazy, but when I take the time to study the information.  I still come down on the side of "lets get rid of plastics", fracking may not be the best option and vinyl floors may not be all they're cracked up to be.  Okay and I also did a little happy dance when the President addressed climate change.

Back to this book... she made me think!  I love anything that makes me think, whether I agree or disagree, just the act of making me think will make me fall in love with a book.  I learned some new things about some scary chemicals.  I realized again that we have willingly jumped into a sea of chemicals made by corporations that care more about their bottom line than my children and we have done it  without putting up a fight.  We have said, sure, I'll let you feminize my boys, feed them neurotoxins and possibly decrease their IQ.  We are country full of really intelligent people but we are also a county full of really busy people and really busy people will do anything for convenience.  They will microwave food in plastic, eat the newest food created in a lab (my newest quotable...."if it was made in a lab, it needs to be digested in a lab" - Hungry for Change), they won't think twice about throwing clothes in a dryer or what kind of chemicals they are putting on their lawn... busyness leads us down roads we would never consider walking down if we took a minute to think before we chose our paths.

Steingraber is a great blend of scientist and mother and manages to combine the two points of view.  I appreciated that she delved into the science and took the reader on a journey.  I left the book, knowing that I needed more information  that I needed to put a little more thought into the products I was buying and the choices I was making.  I knew at the end that as a spiritual being I needed to seek out wisdom, to call out for it.  I also know that as I'm waiting on God and allowing Him to guide my decisions and the changes we make in our home that He quietly whispers, "Don't let yourself become consumed with a spirit of fear, but know that I will help you take care of your kids.  I will help you make the right choices."  Maybe someday I will come out of the closet and fight or maybe the frontlines for me will always be my home and I will stick to fighting right here for my kids.